Steering towards spring

As the afternoons draw out and the mornings become lighter I can once again enjoy motoring that little bit more.

It's been a tough winter for our cars too; snow, lots of nasty ice and plenty of corrosive salt on the roads. So, here's the things I won't miss about driving during the winter:

Getting to work for 6.30am is never nice during the darkest months, but finding your car covered in rock hard ice is never a welcoming sight. Scrapping ice off is the last thing you feel like doing at that time.

And to top it off, my drive to work is so short my car never has chance to warm up properly, so it's just as cold when I arrive.

I've also noticed my fuel consumption increase, too. Those early morning starts trying to get the heaters warm enough to clear the screen seems to empty the fuel tank. I reckon I've lost a good 30 miles worth of fuel each month.

Don't ask me why, but I actually found myself washing my car during a snow shower a few weeks back. That resulted in the soapy suds freezing on the bodywork and some of my fingers almost dropping off. That wasn't fun.

I'll look forward to opening my windows to feel warmish air rushing in. This winter I've only opened the windows to release the choking diesel fumes the fan has just forced into my lungs.

The spring will also bring the promise of longer evenings, long enough to crack open the expensive wax and detail the car. Always satisfying when afterwards the sun shine brings out that metallic flake.

However, I will miss struggling up to Burrator Reservoir during the height of our snow showers and reminding myself why a rear-wheel drive car is such simple fun.

Alright, Dave?

As much as I enjoy the re-runs of Top Gear and Fifth Gear on Virgin cable channel Dave, they're starting to wear a bit thin now.

At first it was pure brilliance being able to watch all the old repeats, but now they just show each episode over and over and over again, a bit like Only Fools and Horses.

Re-runs of Fifth Gear started off great too, but some of the episodes are just so old. We're talking the first showing of the Vauxhall Vectra Mk 2 and the VW Toureg - I mean come-on.

Still, it's better than nothing, and if it suddenly disappeared off my Virgin box I would go mad.

However, and I mean what I say now, I would happily pay more for my license fee if it meant round-the-year episodes of Top Gear.

The winter months just aren't the same. Sunday night television offers nothing close to the quality motoring television of the now-famous trio.

Of course, the BBC seems to produce fewer episodes nowadays, and from what I've read the budget for next year will be cut down. It seems like the license fee is becoming poorer value each year.

Either way, bring on the new season... before I resort to watching Jason Dawe in Auto Trader's Used car show.

Way off topic...

Ok, so this has absolutely nothing to do with the internal combustion engine, but I thought somebody may be interested.

After a second attempt at growing tomatoes, which ended in disaster, I have finally found success with other vegetables! Planted in March theses carrots, onions and parsnips do look rather pathetic, but went into a lovely cottage pie and tasted fantastic.

Are you rat, or forced rat?

A new craze is sweeping the car modifying world. Well, I say is, maybe that should read has, because I seem to have completely missed it.

According to a lot of well known motoring websites this craze involves going against everything we've ever been told about looking after your car.

After a bit of frantic internet searching I came across some forums and websites which reveal the true horror of this automotive fashion.

The 'forced-rat' look involves stripping off paint, lowering, defacing and adding various 'enhancements'. These can include old roof racks, tacky seat covers, stickers - the kind of junk you might find down at your local tip.

The 'rat' or 'natural/genuine rat-look' is slightly different, and seems to be about preserving the weathered and deterioated look of old classics, but with enough solid parts to scrape through that all-important MOT.

Now I've always been one to prise open the wax and spend the day turning each panel of my car into a mirror, but this would be going against everything I've ever done.


Just imagine buying a new car and stripping off that fresh layer of beautiful paint for the specific aim of attracting rust, kicking in the door to achieve the just-crashed look, or replacing your indicator stalk with a beer pump handle.


Nowadays you have to look pretty hard to spot rust on most cars, but purposefully encouraging it? That's just plain wrong.

Maybe this is what we should have expected, the result of years of preening and cleaning, the final rebellion against the showroom finish most of us strive for.

I do have mixed opinions and actually fall in favour of the 'genuine rat-look'. The old VW Beetles and Mercs do carry a lot of character and do look cool in a bizarre and arty sort of way.

Most of these creations seem to be old classic VWs and vans, which probably don't need a great deal of encouragement where oxidations comes in.

So, will I be cracking open the paint stripper and praying on some rain? Er, no. I'll leave it to the rat-pack and watch on... in disbelief.

Top ten dream garage

Time for something I should have done a long time ago.

It's the subject most blokes have discussed at least once and, for me at least, it continues to change over the years as new metal (and carbon fibre) appears on the scene. Yes, here is my ultimate top ten dream garage:



In no particular order:



1. BMW E30 M3. Iconic, muscular lines, wonderful chassis and one of the most feel-some steering racks of any car. When BMW released the first M3 in 1987 little did they know what a breed of imitators would follow.



Even today the baby BMW can hold a light to modern machinery in the corners. Sure the power output looks puny nowadays but with such a light body it still knows how to entertain. It may have only been left-hand drive but it could still grace my garage any day.


2. Bugatti Veyron: Who wouldn't have one of these in their garage? Surely the must have for any discerning petrol-head. The Mclaren F1 may have held the mantle as the world's fastest car for over ten years, but the Veyron's performance figures are a serious step beyond. Epic urge, a poised sculpted body carrying an awesome W16 engine with a quite unbelievable 1000bhp. Most of us would be lucky to even spot one yet alone own one. Yes please.



3. Lamborghini Murcielago LP640: Ok, so Audi may have the company under its belt but that doesn't take any of the Italian madness away. Stunning looks, sensational performance and a visual presence like few other supercars. Makes the baby Gallardo look rather tame.



4. BMW M635i: Yes, you may notice a BMW theme here but I think it's fully justified. Those famous shark-nose looks get better with every passing year and there's not many modern BMWs that have as much character as this classic, most noticeably the new 6-series. Shame on you BMW.



5. AC Cobra. A million replicas can do the original little justice. This animal of a car is about as raw as driving gets. In its day it was crazy, today it can still kill you. A beast that will never be tamed. Respect is essential.



6. Nissan GT-R: To you and me that's the new Skyline. The motoring press have not a single bad word to say about this incredible technical achievement. It may be overweight, have an automatic gearbox and lack badge pedigree but I SO want one.



7. Ferrari 250 GTO: Chris Evans may be the new owner of one of the most expensive cars in the world, but for me that hasn't taken any of the appeal away. I'm sure it would be the most beautiful car in my garage, except for...



8. Jaguar E-type. Captures an era I would love to have been part of. Its beauty can only be described as breathtaking. The ultimate example of automotive elegance.



9. Audi R8 V12: A soon-to-be defining moment for Audi - the first V12 diesel supercar to match and exceed performance of rivals such as Lamborghini and Ferrari, in torque at least. Doesn't look too shabby either.


10. De Lorean DMC-12: To me and you the car that appeared in the Back to the Future films. Yes, I know the car is a well known dog, but I want the version that stared in the movies - who wouldn't? Gull wing doors, a flux-capacitor, Lotus looks and the ability to travel back in time... well, I did say this was my dream garage.

Wednesday, March 5

Well, with my road manners pretty much tamed I can now concentrate on trying to actually enjoy my driving.

Yes, in this draconian world of speed cameras and increasing congestion it can be a challenge to find the fun side of motoring.

But we all know that fuel isn't going to get any cheaper so maybe, just maybe, we'll look back in a few years and say it was cheap?



I am deeply concerned at the thought of higher petrol prices. With some reports claiming fuel could reach a rather stupid £1.50 a litre by the end of the year now is the time to enjoy our cars as much as legally possible, after all, the days of driving without a care for fuel economy are certainly numbered.

So instead of watching the fuel gauge drop I'll be watching my revs rise. Before we're all financially forced out of our cars I'm going to take advantage of the freedom that a bus or train will never offer me.

True, driving is a privilege and not a right but in my search for thrills nobody's forcing me to speed or risk my safety.

Instead of a bottomless money pit my car will be my access to freedom and a pleasure in the bends.

I'll wash it with pride, service it as if it had blood running through its veins and occasionally take that spirited b-road blast with the windows down just to blow the cobwebs away. Yes, even if it does empty my fuel tank.

So whatever you drive and whatever your daily grind is have a think about how much you would miss your key to freedom - and then start to appreciate it. After all what on earth would you replace it with?

Thursday, January 3

Happy New Year motorists

As we all see another New Year in I guess it's time to bring out the New Year's resolutions. You know those hopes and beliefs that we make at the start of each year and are soon forgotten by the end of January.

I'm going to do something a bit different this year and take a look at the way I drive:



Firstly I've decided to curb my 'road rage'. No, I don't carry a baseball bat in my boot, but I'm only human and there are times when I beep my horn or let out a few special 'bleeps'. However, I'm determined to keep my calm this year, as I've realised I'll never change the way other motorists drive so I'll just try to improve my road manners instead.

Now when it comes to putting petrol in my car I've always been a skin-flint - cheapy supermarket fuel and a very light foot where possible. But I'm sure I can creep up the fuel economy just by setting off earlier and concentrating on my gear changes a bit more. I could say I'm trying to save the planet, but I'll admit that I'm very selfish and just want to save my own money.

With all this wintry weather and dark skies at 4pm I have to admit I don't have much inspiration to fight the elements and wash the car, but it's good exercise, fresh air and I refuse to spend the best part of £5 paying someone else to massage grit into the bodywork.

As my girlfriend keeps telling me, loudly, I do drive rather close to other drivers' bumpers, and I refuse to become one of those drivers that you look in your rear-view mirror at and mutter 'get off my back'. Even if other drivers swerve into the large gap in front of me my no-claims bonus should remain intact.

I often wonder how can such a simple thing become so ignored? Letting other drivers know where you are going is vital and I admit that I could use my indicators more so I'll 'tick-tock' more often when leaving roundabouts and when cutting people up... I'm mean pulling in.

We all know today's cars are heavier than ever before so I'm determined to strip out the unnecessary rubbish - you know all the stuff you carry round that you never use which make the car slower, less fuel efficient, and look a real mess. Although my Radiohead albums and chewing gum will be staying.

After a recent visit to the Czech Republic I was surprised to find that their law requires headlamps to be on whenever you drive - day or night. At first I thought it was a waste of energy but from the start of this year my lights will always be on, and everyone will notice me - mainly because nobody else seems to bother.

Slowing down outside schools is an obvious rule, but from 2008 I've decided to keep it under 15mph - despite the annoyance of other road users I refuse to take a life just to be punctual.

So I may not be burning up a sweat at the gym every day but I honestly think I've set myself some realistic goals which will benefit my pocket and take me through to next year - I'll let you know how I get on.